I’d
rather have Jesus than silver or gold;
I’d rather be His than have riches untold;
I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands;
I’d rather be led by His nail-pierced hand.
I’d rather be His than have riches untold;
I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands;
I’d rather be led by His nail-pierced hand.
The tears
ran freely when this hymn was sung in church this morning. It was the same hymn that caused me to stop
singing one Sunday nine years ago as I digested the words. Singing that I’d rather have Jesus than
houses or lands was like having vinegar in my mouth and I knew I had to swallow
it. My house had just been taken from my
grasp a second time in three years. I
had no land to call my own. The One whom
I’d believed in had given and taken away, taken away more than I could bear.
Possessions
were lost.
Bridges had
been burned.
I felt abandoned
by God, unworthy of His love.
I did not
want to be alive.
I turned to
scripture for hope.
“…weeping may endure for a night,
but joy cometh in the morning.” Psalm 30:5
I kept
looking for my morning. When was the sun
going to rise on new joy and hope?
Life never
turns out how you expect and God does have a sense of humor.
I was praying
for money and a new home, but what I got was a positive pregnancy test. It would only make sense to panic in a
situation like mine. God knew what I
wanted, instead he gave me what I needed.
I was desperate for something to call my own. A new baby was the answer.
I felt a new
sense of purpose and hope for the future.
My day started with motivation to move forward (after I got sick of
course), and I was headed in the right direction.
I somehow
knew this child within me was a boy and months before he was born his name was
determined. The name Jason means “healer”. That’s what he was to me before I ever held
him in my arms. Tomorrow he celebrates
his 8th birthday. Oh how I love him!
Jason, age 8. |
“But women will be saved
through childbearing
—if they continue in faith,
love and holiness
with propriety.”
I Timothy 2:15
Jason saved
me from negative thoughts, hopelessness and depression. He was my joy in the morning – born on May 9,
2008 at 6:13 am.
Immediately after Jason was born. |
I don't know what you're battling today.
But know that God sees all of our hurts and He cares for you!
Happy Mother’s Day!